The Foundation: Solving the Cold Start Problem in Dating
Why ads won't save your new app—and how to build a network from zero.
Today, we are looking at the single biggest hurdle for any new dating business: The Cold Start Problem.
If you have ever built a standard business—an agency, a SaaS tool, a blog, or a YouTube channel—you know the typical playbook: start small, buy some Facebook ads, drive traffic, make a sale, get feedback, improve the product, and repeat. It’s a linear path.
In the dating industry, this logic does not work.
Dating isn’t just a software product; it is a network connecting people. Until that network exists, the product has zero value. A single user in a dating app gets nothing out of it. Even a hundred users might feel zero value if they are different ages, live in different neighborhoods, or log in at different times.
This is why every new dating project faces the same enemy: The Cold Start Problem—the challenge of igniting a network from absolute zero.
Understanding Network Effects (It’s Not Just Buzzwords)
Most founders have heard the phrase “network effects,” but few understand that in dating, this isn’t just a “nice to have.” It is the fundamental physics determining whether your startup lives or dies.
A Network Effect occurs when a product becomes more valuable to every user as the number of other users increases.
WhatsApp: If all your friends are there, it’s essential. If no one is there, it’s a useless utility.
Uber: More drivers mean faster pickups; more passengers mean higher earnings for drivers. It’s a flywheel.
Airbnb: More listings mean better choices for guests; more guests mean better occupancy for hosts.
The “Double Coincidence of Wants” in Dating
However, dating network effects are significantly harder to achieve than Uber or WhatsApp. In dating, “more users” does not automatically equal “better product.”
Value in a dating app only appears when there are specific people who meet a rigorous set of criteria:
Correct Demographics: The right gender and age preference.
Hyper-Local: They must be in the same specific city or neighborhood.
Active: They must be online recently (ghost profiles kill retention).
Mutual Interest: Crucially—and this is unique to dating—they must also like you back.
Therefore, the dating network effect isn’t just about volume. It’s about Liquidity—having enough of the right people active at the same time to create matches.
The “Just Buy Traffic” Trap: The Brutal Math
I see this constantly at SkaDate. A founder says: “I’ll just buy traffic on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. We’ll quickly gather a user base in one city, then expand to the next.”
It sounds logical until you run the unit economics. Let’s look at the real numbers for a new dating app launching in the US today.
CPI (Cost Per Install): ~$4 (up to $8 for niche apps). This is standard for a new app on Meta/Google/TikTok with no brand recognition and no organic lift.
Conversion to Subscriber: ~5%. For new projects, it’s often lower because the database is small (”ghost town” effect), and you likely haven’t hired a Head of Growth or optimized your lifecycle marketing (emails, pushes) yet.
The Unit Economics Nightmare
Let’s do the math on your CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost):
$4 (CPI)÷0.05 (Conversion)=$80
It costs you $80 to acquire one paying subscriber via paid ads.
Now, consider LTV (Lifetime Value). The average subscriber retention in dating is often just one month. Why? Because users subscribe, look around, realize the database is small/low quality, get very few matches, and churn immediately.
If your CAC is $80, you need to charge $80/month just to break even.
The Market Reality:
The average dating subscription is $20–$40.
Charging $80 for a brand-new app with no trust is impossible.
Even the giants (Tinder, Bumble) charge less because they survive on scale, not high margins per user.
The Verdict on Performance Marketing
Performance marketing cannot solve the Cold Start Problem.
The economy doesn’t balance. You need a high price to cover ad costs, but you can’t charge a high price without a high-quality user base, which you don’t have yet.
Field Note: Paid ads work after the network is alive—when organic K-factor kicks in, retention stabilizes, and users are getting matches. Using ads to start the fire is like trying to boil the ocean with a matchstick.
Case Study: How Tinder Actually Solved the Cold Start
When people talk about Tinder’s explosion, they usually credit the “Swipe” UI.
Let’s be clear: The Swipe was a product innovation, not a marketing one. Product alone does not acquire users.
(Side note: The swipe was vital because it reduced rejection anxiety. Unlike Match.com or POF where you cold-messaged people, the Swipe forced a “Double Opt-In,” ensuring that when you messaged someone, you already knew they were interested. That raised reply rates dramatically.)
But the marketing breakthrough—the way they solved the Cold Start Problem—was purely offline.
The Campus Strategy
Tinder didn’t try to launch “in the USA.” They launched campus by campus. Universities are the perfect petri dish for dating networks:
High density of young people.
High social activity.
Shared context (same school, same age).
Tinder realized they didn’t need to build a new network from scratch; they simply needed to digitize a network that already existed offline.
The “Gating” Tactic
Tinder didn’t recruit users one by one. They recruited clusters.
They threw parties at USC and other campuses.
The Price of Admission: You had to show the bouncer that you had Tinder downloaded on your phone.
Hundreds of students downloaded it simultaneously at the door.
When they opened the app inside the party, they saw the faces of the people standing right next to them.
This created instant density. Users got matches in the first 10 minutes. The product felt “alive” immediately. This is something Facebook Ads can never replicate.
Solving the Gender Balance (The Sorority Hack)
Every dating app founder fears the “Sausage Fest” scenario: 80% men, 20% women.
Tinder solved this by leveraging the social hierarchy of Greek Life:
They pitched to Sororities (female houses) first. They got the key influencers and socialites on the app.
Then, they went to the Fraternities (male houses).
The pitch to the guys was easy: “All the cute girls from the sororities are already on this app.”
The guys downloaded it en masse. Because the supply (women) was already there, the demand (men) was satisfied, and the ecosystem flourished.
Tinder conquered one campus, creating a functional mini-network. Then they moved to the next. Eventually, as students visited friends at other colleges, the “atomic networks” began to merge, and organic growth took over.
Actionable Advice for Founders
If you are launching a dating business today, accept the reality: You cannot afford to scale with paid ads on Day 1.
Your Cost Per Subscription will be too high, your conversion too low, and your churn too fast.
The Solution:
Stop looking at Facebook Ads Manager. Start looking at Communities.
You need to replicate the Tinder model of digitizing an existing offline network where trust and connections already exist.
Where to find your first 1,000 users:
Offline Events: Parties, mixers, speed dating.
Micro-Communities: Coworking spaces, local running clubs, language schools.
Niche Interests: Conventions, hobby groups, local subreddits.
You need to acquire users in batches, not individuals, to ensure that when they open the app, they see people they might actually want to date.
What’s Next?
In the next article, I will break down a case study of a dating project that launched in January 2024 and solved the Cold Start Problem using a completely different channel: YouTube.
Stay tuned.
Why Build From Scratch?
As you just read, solving the Cold Start Problem is the hardest battle in the dating industry. It requires 100% of your focus on marketing and community. You cannot win this battle if you are distracted by product development or managing servers.
That is our territory.
This is exactly why we built SkaDate.
We are the product experts. We provide you with a battle-tested technical engine—native apps, payments, and monetization—perfected over years of development.
You focus on igniting the network; we’ll provide the professional infrastructure to support it.
Ready to launch with a pro-level product?
You focus on finding the users; we’ll make sure the technology keeps them there.